Ovdje postavljajte citate koji su vas nasmijali, rastuzili..
Evo mene je fascinirao dio iz filma 'Kad porastem bicu Kengur', toliko psovki u jednoj recenici me nikada u zivotu nije toliko nasmijalo :D

Bratislav (koji studira montazu) nema novca da plati racun u kaficu, odlazi pod izgovorom u kafic-kladionicu dje se prati direktan prenos utakmice kojima svima znaci sto zbog tiketa, sto zbog druga im iz kraja.. Bratislav ulijece unezvijeren trazi na zajam pare (niko mu ne daje) pri tome zaklanja televizor Ziletu (najsmjesnijem i najnervoznijem liku u filmu), ustaje se Zile sav iznerviran i:

Zile: 'Evo, evo da se nosis u pi*ku materinu i ti i pi*ke i obrazovanje i mrs u p*zdu materinu , ajde gubi se nemoj da mi manervises ovde vise, ajde!!!'

Braca: 'Ej zile hvala ti, ovo ti necu zaboraviti nikad majke mi.'

Zile: ' Znam sine znam, kad doguras do filma stavices me u neki pornic da me kar*ju u bulju, tamo da me kar*ju, ajde, ajde..'

Braca: 'Postovani prijatelji fudbala, uzmite ovo , trebace vam veceras..' ( daje mu mjerac za pritisak)

Zile: 'Mrs mamicu ti bezobrznu...'

:D :D :D :D

"I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse."
Don Vito Corleone, The Godfather

"i`m your worst nightmare..." - "Rambo"


Balkanski Špijun

...pogrešila centrala!?!? Može centrala jednom da pogreši ali ne može sto puta!!! A dobili ste pogrešan broj!?!? Možda ste dobili pogrešan broj ali ste dobili onog koga ste tražili...

Serija ''Allo 'Allo!''
Michael : '' Listen carefully, i shall say this only once.''

- My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius. Commander of the armies of the North, general of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife, and I will have my vengeance in this life or the next. - Gladiator

- Da je Bog htio da smo svi jednaki, svi bi imali proteze na nogama - Forrest Gump

- A kako je kod vas u Shvedskoj? Zima, a? Al' standard, jebi ga! -Lepa sela lepo gore

-Ema, Ela, Eleonora...eliminishi malu! - Mi nismo andjeli

- ko ti pipka gacice - Kako je propao rock'n'roll

- Schampagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends - Edward Norton u 25th hour

- Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn - Prohujalo s' vihorom..prva psovka na malom ekranu ;)


- Ama prijo kad te gledam, dobijem neku snagu pa mi dodje da jurnem k'o na bunker. A ja vam licim na taj bunker. A ne, ti mi lichish na tvrdjavu - Zikina dinastija ahahahahahahah

-Bako, donecemo ti sutra "koku" da probas!!!"-"Bolje petla sine, za supu"- iz filma RANE

- Chika Shabane, posl'o me babo da vidim kako si?
- Evo boli me glava, rebro slomljeno, ruka ischashena, zubi otisli...
-E ne mogu ja to zapamtiti, ja cu rec' da si ti vec umro. -Kuduz ahahahahahahahahah

Super ste izabrale citate! Pogotovo mi se svidio odlomak iz Gladijatora jer obozavam taj film..

Evo od mene opet odlomak iz Kengura (koji je inace ne presusan sa komicnim situacijama :D). Pocetak filma, Somi i Duje ulaze u crkvu da se pmole Bogu i zapale svijecu za pobjedu Ipsvica da bi dobili 7000 maraka na kladionicu..

Somi: Dobar dan,

Prodavacica: Bog vam pomogao

Somi: Dacete nam tri od dinar i po

Duje: Daj brate Some koji ti je kuvac, sad si nas'o da se stekujes je*ote

Somi: Nemoj da psujes u crkvi

Duje: Oprosti Boze ne znam sta radim

Somi: Izvinite molim vas, dacete nam 3 od 5 dinara

Duje: Gospodjo dajte nam 4 od 15 dinara, jednu za Kengurovog pokojnog caleta, znam da imas sezdeset kinti, daj..
Evo, hvala

Somi: Brate, ne pravi Bog razlike medju svecama

Duje: Vidis da pravi, brate, sto bi bilo do dinar, od 5, od 10
Simu: Ok...

Duje: Boze, pogledaj danas i na nas jadne i bedne, znam da si zauzet, pogledaj nas danas pa ne moras vise nikad', pomiluj naseg Kengura, da izdrzi veceras na golu Ipsvica, brwate...Boze.

"You talking to me?" -Taxista

'I'll be back' - Terminator

Maratonci:

-Šta će biti s kućom???
-Zapalit ću je!!!


-Umro deda Pantelija ...
-ajdeeeeee


-Deda je spalio Đenku. Ostali samo dugmići.

AHaahaahhhah cuveno cuveno, 'Ostali samo dugmici' :D :D

"Stari su snovi bili dobri snovi.Nisu se ostvarili, ali drago mi je što sam ih sanjao!"
(Clint Eastwood, Mostovi okruga Madison)

I know what you're thinking. Did he fire six shots or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question:


Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya punk?

Dirty Harry

'This time next year, we'll be millionaires!' - David Jason ( Derek Trotter, Del Boy ) u seriji Only fools and horses - Mucke :D :D :D :D :D

-A ko ti je ovo,insektu jedan?
-Pa rekao sam ti.Moja mama.
-Mama u boji...đubre lažljivo!

Mi nismo anđeli I deo

You wanna play a little game - Saw

Forrest Gump

"I'm not a smart man, but I know what love is."

"My mom says.. life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you'll get!"

The only feeling of real loss is when you love someone more than you love yourself. - Good Will Hunting

"-A zasto sad peremo zube?
-Pa, dolaze nam gosti."
-A sta cemo da im radimo?"

Varljivo leto `68

"I will love you always.
Now and forever.
There is no goodbye.
Only love."

The perfect storm
___________________

My name is Buck, and I'm here to fuck- Kill Bill Vol. 1


- Do you ever dream, Forrest, about who you're gonna be?
- Who I'm gonna be?
-Yeah.
- Aren't I going to be me? " - Forrest Gump

The Devil's Advocate

Let me give you a little inside information about God. GOD likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man INSTINTCS. He gives you this extraordinary gift, and then what does He do, I swear for His own amusement, his own private, cosmic GAG REEL, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. LOOK but don't touch. TOUCH, but don't taste.... taste, but don't swallow! Ahaha! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is he doing? HE'S LAUGHING HIS SICK, FUCKING ASS OFF! HE'S A THIGHT-ASS, HE'S A SADIST! He's an absentee landlord! Worship that? Never!

"Sve može da propadne, samo je smrt siguran posao."
Maratonci trče pocasni krug

"Kakva sam takva sam, al' imam telefon!"
ona baba iz Tesne kože

"Čovjek nikad ne zna kad će se probuditi sa metkom u glavi"
Sivi kamion crvene boje

-Tata šta mu je?
-Sad mu nije ništa,ubio si ga ko zeca!
maratonci

''Žao mi je Što ste moji a ne deca mojih neprijatelja. Ko je vas poznavao ni pakao mu neće teško pasti"
Pantelija , Maratonci

"i tata bi sine"
Ko to tamo peva

"Nisi valjda glupa da ti se ne svidjam...!?"
Lajanje na zvijezde

- Maja, imaš sat?
- Nemam.
- Al zato imaš sisu do jaja. - Do koske ahahahahaha


Kada se voze Kuduz i mala u vozu.
Kondukter: Karte na pregled.
Kuduz: Evo moju, a ona nema ni pet godina.
Kondukter: Seko, koliko imas godina.
Mala pokazuje cetiri prsta.
Kondukter: Samo da mi je znati dokle ces imati 4 godine.
Mala: Dok ne izadjem iz voza! - Kuduz


Neka pumpa, samo da ne prepumpa -Zhikina dinastija..tj.svaki citati iz iste ahahaahhaah

Varljivo leto '68

- A zašto peremo zube?
- Dolaze nam gosti
- A šta ćemo da im radimo?

"I will love you always.
Now and forever.
There is no goodbye.
Only love."

The perfect storm


Seko,ovo je savrseno!Prelijep citat !

Ishmael Chambers : I know you'll think this is crazy, but all I want to do is hold you, and I think that if you'll let me do that just for a few seconds, I can walk away, and never speak to you again.

Snow falling on cedars

Listen my son! Trust no one!
You can't count on anyone but yourself!
Improve your skills son! Harden your body!
Become a number one man!
Do not let anyone beat's you!

The Street Fighter (1975)

Blues ain't nothing, but a good man feeling bad...
The Crossroads

A man who tells lies, like me, merely hides the truth. But a man who tells half-lies has forgotten where he put it.

Club Secretary: I say, Lawrence. You are a clown!
T.E. Lawrence: We can't all be lion tamers.

Young men make wars, and the virtues of war are the virtues of young men: courage, and hope for the future. Then old men make the peace, and the vices of peace are the vices of old men: mistrust and caution.

i
With Major Lawrence, mercy is a passion. With me, it is merely good manners. You may judge which motive is the more reliable.
Lawrence of Arabia

ILI IMAŠ MUDA, ILI IDEŠ U ŠKOLU! šejtanov ratnik :D

"Umro je u cvetu starosti, pred sam kraj svog zhivota.
Njegov posledni prijatelj umro je krajem poslednjeg veka."
-"Maratonci"

kazablanka:
-sviraj to ponovo, sem

kazablanaka:
-ovo je pocetak jednog divnog prijateljstva

simpsonovi:
-dow! (homer simson)


dusko dugousko:
-trebalo je da skrenemo levo do albukerkija...

rane:
-sta je bilo, misevi, usrali ste se, a?
-de smo stali bako? -kod ustasa, hahah ahaha...

mi nismo andjeli:
-sta sam nocas propustio? - hmmm, nista,,, - jooooj...

petparacke price:
-a kako francuzi zovu big mek? - L`big mek.
-and who is zed? - zed is dead baby, zed is dead...

alo-alo:
-youuuu stuuupid wo-man!!
-it is I, Le Clair...

zitije brajanovo:
-tlu him on a fvo! - vot sir? - tlu him on a flo! hadli! -a, ju min 'tru him on a flor'? - jes, aj sed det...
-i sad napisi za kaznu stotinu puta, velikim slovima na zid 'rimljani idite kuci'
-mama, imam li veliki nos? eh vi mladi, samo na sex mislite, pa je li premali, pa je li prevelik...
-ocu da vam kazem, okupljeni narode: svi ste vi razliciti! -tako je, svi smo mi razliciti... -ja nisam.

potraga za svetim gralom:
(pita cojek koji prestavlja sfingu. ako se ne odgovori tacno, odleti se u p.m.)
-koja je filozofija lastavicjeg repa? -koje lastavice, evropske, il africke? -hm, neznam...

"An opinion is like an asshole - everybody has one"

("Misljenje je kao shupak-ima ga svako")-- The Dead Pool (1988)-Prljavi Hari

The only feeling of real loss Is when you love someone More than you love your self.
- from "Good Will Hunting"

" Will you love me for the rest of my life? "

" No, I'll love you for the rest of mine. "

- From the movie "Phenomenon"