Women's English
---------------------------
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry.
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to.
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and
wallpaper.....
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not
going to like.
I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game
on T.V.
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]
Was that the baby?=Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he
goes to sleep.
I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is
important.

Men's English:
----------------------
"I'm hungry." = I'm hungry.
"I'm sleepy." = I'm sleepy.
"I'm tired." = I'm tired.
"Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with
you. "Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex
with you. "Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex
with you. "May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex
with you. "Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage! "You look tense, let me give
you a massage." = I want to fondle you. "What's wrong?" = I don't see
why you are making such a big deal out of this. "What's wrong?" = What
meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through
now? "What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
"I'm bored." = Do you want to have sex? "I love you." = Let's have sex
now. "I love you, too." = Okay, I said it... we'd better have sex now!
"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = I liked it better before.
"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = $50 and it doesn't look
that much different! "Let's talk." = I am trying to impress you by
showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex
with me. "Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to
have sex with other guys. (while shopping) "I like that one better." =
Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home! "I don't think that blouse
and that skirt go well together." = I am gay.

Women's English
---------------------------
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry.
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to.
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and
wallpaper.....
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not
going to like.
I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game
on T.V.
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]
Was that the baby?=Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he
goes to sleep.
I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is
important.

Men's English:
----------------------
"I'm hungry." = I'm hungry.
"I'm sleepy." = I'm sleepy.
"I'm tired." = I'm tired.
"Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with
you. "Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex
with you. "Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex
with you. "May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex
with you. "Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage! "You look tense, let me give
you a massage." = I want to fondle you. "What's wrong?" = I don't see
why you are making such a big deal out of this. "What's wrong?" = What
meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through
now? "What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
"I'm bored." = Do you want to have sex? "I love you." = Let's have sex
now. "I love you, too." = Okay, I said it... we'd better have sex now!
"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = I liked it better before.
"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = $50 and it doesn't look
that much different! "Let's talk." = I am trying to impress you by
showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex
with me. "Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to
have sex with other guys. (while shopping) "I like that one better." =
Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home! "I don't think that blouse
and that skirt go well together." = I am gay.


dje ovo nabavi majke ti...:notworthy::notworthy:
extra je....true true :biggrin::biggrin::bye1:

dobio sam to mailom nedje prije 10-tak godina :)

ima i nasa verzija i ja sam imala ovo

LOVEMAKING TIPS FOR SENIORS
1. Put on your glasses. Double check that your partner is actually in bed with
you.
2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.
3. Set the mood with lighting. Turn them ALL OFF!
4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.
5. Write partner’s name on your hand in case you can’t remember.
6. Keep extra polygrip close by so your teeth don’t end up under the bed.
7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act.
8. Make all the noise you want. The neighbors are deaf, too.
9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news.
10. Don’t even think about trying it twice.

Ten Reasons why man prefer Guns to women.


#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.

#9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.

#8. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.

#7. Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.

#6. Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.

#5. A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.

#4. Guns function normally every day of the month.

#3. A gun doesn't ask , "Do these new grips make me look fat?"

#2. A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.

#1. YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A GUN

Three Swiss monks of the benedictine order were meditating high in the Alps. Suddenly, a beautiful milk cow walked by.
The first monk said : "HHHMMM, this is Fritz's cow, I tell you".
Half an hour later, the second monk said : " HHHMMM, really that was Kurt's cow. I'm quite sure".
An other half hour later, the third Swiss monk stood up and said "I'm going away, I can't stand you guys having an argument around me when I'm trying to meditate"....