liv_tyler
25-08-07, 21:34
A LAPDANCE IS SO MUCH BETTER WHEN THE STRIPPER IS CRYING
I was lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert that night I strolled on into Uncle Limpy's Hump Palace lookin' for love. It had been a while. In fact, three hundred and sixty-five had come and went since that midnight run haulin' hog to Shakey Town on I-10. I had picked up this hitchhiker that was sweatin' gallons through a pair of Daisy Duke cut-offs and one of those Fruit Of The Loom tank-tops. Well, that night I lost myself to ruby red lips, milky white skin, and baby blue eyes. Name was Russell.
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well, faster than you can say, "shallow grave," this pretty little thing come up to me and starts kneadin' my balls like hard-boiled eggs in a tube sock. Said her name was Bambi and I said, "Well that's a coincidence darlin', 'cause I was just thinkin' about skinnin' you like a deer." Well, she smiled, had about as much teeth as a jack-o-lantern, and I went on to tell her how I would wear her face like a mask as I do my little kooky dance. And then she told me to shush. I guess she could sense my desperation. Course, it's hard to hide a hard-on when you're dressed like Minnie Pearl.
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
So, Bambi's goin' on about how she can make all my fantasies come true. So I says, "Even this one I have where Jesus Christ is jackhammerin' Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart as Garth Brooks gives birth to something resemblin' a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus' tummy-tum?" Well, ten beers, twenty minutes, and thirty dollars later I'm parkin' the beef bus in tuna town if you know what I mean. Got to nail her back at her trailer. That rhymes. I have to admit, it was even more of a turn-on when I found out she was doin' me to buy baby formula.
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Day or so had passed when I popped the clutch, gave the tranny a spin, and slid on into The Stinky Pinky Gulp N' Guzzle Big Rig Snooze-A-Stop. There I was browsin' through the latest issue of Throb, when I saw Bambi starin' at me from the back of a milk carton. Well, my heart just dropped. So, I decided to do what any good Christian would. You cannot imagine how difficult it is to hold a half gallon of moo juice and polish the one-eyed gopher when you're doin' seventy-five in an eighteen-wheeler. I never thought missing children could be so sexy. Did I say that out loud?
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
ALONG COMES MARY
Every time I think that I'm
The only one who's lonely someone
Calls on me
And every now and then I spend
My time at rhyme and verse and curse those
Faults in me
And then along comes Mary
Mary Mary
Then along comes Mary
Mary Mary
And does she want to give me kicks
And be my steady chick and give me pick
Of memories?
Or maybe rather gather tales from all the
Fails and tribulations no one
Ever sees?
When we met I was sure out to lunch
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch
Sweet as the punch
When vague desire is the fire in
The eyes of chicks whose sickness is the
Games they play
And when the masquerade is played and neighbor
Folks make jokes as who is most to
Blame today
And then along comes Mary
Mary Mary
Then along comes Mary
Mary Mary
And does she want to set them free
And let them see reality from where she
Got her name?
And will they struggle much when told that such
A tender touch of hers will make them
Not the same?
When we met I was sure out to lunch
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch
Sweet as the punch
And when the morning of the warning's passed
The gassed and flaccid kids are flung
Across the stars
The psychodramas and the traumas gone
The songs are left unsung and hung
Upon the scars
And then along comes Mary
Mary Mary
Then along comes Mary
Mary Mary
And does she want to see the stains the
Dead remains of all the pains she left the
Night before?
Or will their wakin' eyes reflect the lies
And make them realize their urgent cry for
Sight no more?
When we met I was sure out to lunch
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch
Sweet as the punch
When we met I was sure out to lunch
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch
When we met I was sure out to lunch
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch
When we met I was sure out to lunch
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch
When we met I was sure out to lunch
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch
When we met I was sure out to lunch
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch
When we met I was sure out to lunch
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch
Sweet as the punch
THE BAD TOUCH
Ha-ha. Well now, we call this the act of mating. But, there are several other very important differences between human beings and animals that you should know about.
I'd appreciate your input.
Sweat baby sweat baby sex is a Texas drought
Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about
So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts
Yes I'm Siskel yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up
You've had enough of two-hand touch you want it rough you're out of bounds
I want you smothered want you covered like my Waffle House hashbrowns
Comin' quicker than FedEx never reach an apex just like Coca-Cola stock you are inclined
To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time
Do it now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Gettin' horny now
Love the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket
Like the lost catacombs of Egypt only God knows where we stuck it
Hieroglyphics? Let me be Pacific I wanna be down in your South Seas
But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means small craft advisory
So if I capsize on your thighs high tide B-5 you sunk my battleship
Please turn me on I'm Mister Coffee with an automatic drip
So show me yours I'll show you mine "Tool Time" you'll Lovett just like Lyle
And then we'll do it doggy style so we can both watch "X-Files"
Do it now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Gettin' horny now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Gettin' horny now
THE BALLAD OF CHASEY LANE
Dear Chasey Lain
I wrote to explain
I'm your biggest fan
I just wanted to ask
Could I eat your ass?
Write back as soon as you can
You've had a lotta dick
Had a lotta dick
I've had a lotta time
Had a lotta time
You've had a lotta dick Chasey
But you ain't had mine
Dear Chasey Lain
I wrote to complain
Ya never wrote me back
How could I ever eat
Your ass when ya treat
Your biggest fan like that?
You've had a lotta dick
Had a lotta dick
I've had a lotta time
Had a lotta time
You've had a lotta dick Chasey
But you ain't had mine
Dear Chasey Lain
I wrote to constrain
This letter is my last
As your biggest fan
I must demand
You let me eat your ass
You've had a lotta dick
Had a lotta dick
I've had a lotta time
Had a lotta time
You've had a lotta dick Chasey
But you ain't had mine
P.S.
Mom and Dad this is Chasey
Chasey this is my mom and dad
Now show 'em them titties
Now show 'em them titties
P.S.
Mom and Dad this is Chasey
Chasey this is my mom and dad
Now show 'em them titties
Now show 'em them titties
Would ya fuck me for blow?
I was lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert that night I strolled on into Uncle Limpy's Hump Palace lookin' for love. It had been a while. In fact, three hundred and sixty-five had come and went since that midnight run haulin' hog to Shakey Town on I-10. I had picked up this hitchhiker that was sweatin' gallons through a pair of Daisy Duke cut-offs and one of those Fruit Of The Loom tank-tops. Well, that night I lost myself to ruby red lips, milky white skin, and baby blue eyes. Name was Russell.
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well, faster than you can say, "shallow grave," this pretty little thing come up to me and starts kneadin' my balls like hard-boiled eggs in a tube sock. Said her name was Bambi and I said, "Well that's a coincidence darlin', 'cause I was just thinkin' about skinnin' you like a deer." Well, she smiled, had about as much teeth as a jack-o-lantern, and I went on to tell her how I would wear her face like a mask as I do my little kooky dance. And then she told me to shush. I guess she could sense my desperation. Course, it's hard to hide a hard-on when you're dressed like Minnie Pearl.
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
So, Bambi's goin' on about how she can make all my fantasies come true. So I says, "Even this one I have where Jesus Christ is jackhammerin' Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart as Garth Brooks gives birth to something resemblin' a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus' tummy-tum?" Well, ten beers, twenty minutes, and thirty dollars later I'm parkin' the beef bus in tuna town if you know what I mean. Got to nail her back at her trailer. That rhymes. I have to admit, it was even more of a turn-on when I found out she was doin' me to buy baby formula.
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Day or so had passed when I popped the clutch, gave the tranny a spin, and slid on into The Stinky Pinky Gulp N' Guzzle Big Rig Snooze-A-Stop. There I was browsin' through the latest issue of Throb, when I saw Bambi starin' at me from the back of a milk carton. Well, my heart just dropped. So, I decided to do what any good Christian would. You cannot imagine how difficult it is to hold a half gallon of moo juice and polish the one-eyed gopher when you're doin' seventy-five in an eighteen-wheeler. I never thought missing children could be so sexy. Did I say that out loud?
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
ALONG COMES MARY
Every time I think that I'm
The only one who's lonely someone
Calls on me
And every now and then I spend
My time at rhyme and verse and curse those
Faults in me
And then along comes Mary
Mary Mary
Then along comes Mary
Mary Mary
And does she want to give me kicks
And be my steady chick and give me pick
Of memories?
Or maybe rather gather tales from all the
Fails and tribulations no one
Ever sees?
When we met I was sure out to lunch
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch
Sweet as the punch
When vague desire is the fire in
The eyes of chicks whose sickness is the
Games they play
And when the masquerade is played and neighbor
Folks make jokes as who is most to
Blame today
And then along comes Mary
Mary Mary
Then along comes Mary
Mary Mary
And does she want to set them free
And let them see reality from where she
Got her name?
And will they struggle much when told that such
A tender touch of hers will make them
Not the same?
When we met I was sure out to lunch
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch
Sweet as the punch
And when the morning of the warning's passed
The gassed and flaccid kids are flung
Across the stars
The psychodramas and the traumas gone
The songs are left unsung and hung
Upon the scars
And then along comes Mary
Mary Mary
Then along comes Mary
Mary Mary
And does she want to see the stains the
Dead remains of all the pains she left the
Night before?
Or will their wakin' eyes reflect the lies
And make them realize their urgent cry for
Sight no more?
When we met I was sure out to lunch
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch
Sweet as the punch
When we met I was sure out to lunch
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch
When we met I was sure out to lunch
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch
When we met I was sure out to lunch
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch
When we met I was sure out to lunch
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch
When we met I was sure out to lunch
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch
When we met I was sure out to lunch
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch
Sweet as the punch
THE BAD TOUCH
Ha-ha. Well now, we call this the act of mating. But, there are several other very important differences between human beings and animals that you should know about.
I'd appreciate your input.
Sweat baby sweat baby sex is a Texas drought
Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about
So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts
Yes I'm Siskel yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up
You've had enough of two-hand touch you want it rough you're out of bounds
I want you smothered want you covered like my Waffle House hashbrowns
Comin' quicker than FedEx never reach an apex just like Coca-Cola stock you are inclined
To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time
Do it now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Gettin' horny now
Love the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket
Like the lost catacombs of Egypt only God knows where we stuck it
Hieroglyphics? Let me be Pacific I wanna be down in your South Seas
But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means small craft advisory
So if I capsize on your thighs high tide B-5 you sunk my battleship
Please turn me on I'm Mister Coffee with an automatic drip
So show me yours I'll show you mine "Tool Time" you'll Lovett just like Lyle
And then we'll do it doggy style so we can both watch "X-Files"
Do it now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Gettin' horny now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Gettin' horny now
THE BALLAD OF CHASEY LANE
Dear Chasey Lain
I wrote to explain
I'm your biggest fan
I just wanted to ask
Could I eat your ass?
Write back as soon as you can
You've had a lotta dick
Had a lotta dick
I've had a lotta time
Had a lotta time
You've had a lotta dick Chasey
But you ain't had mine
Dear Chasey Lain
I wrote to complain
Ya never wrote me back
How could I ever eat
Your ass when ya treat
Your biggest fan like that?
You've had a lotta dick
Had a lotta dick
I've had a lotta time
Had a lotta time
You've had a lotta dick Chasey
But you ain't had mine
Dear Chasey Lain
I wrote to constrain
This letter is my last
As your biggest fan
I must demand
You let me eat your ass
You've had a lotta dick
Had a lotta dick
I've had a lotta time
Had a lotta time
You've had a lotta dick Chasey
But you ain't had mine
P.S.
Mom and Dad this is Chasey
Chasey this is my mom and dad
Now show 'em them titties
Now show 'em them titties
P.S.
Mom and Dad this is Chasey
Chasey this is my mom and dad
Now show 'em them titties
Now show 'em them titties
Would ya fuck me for blow?